Kinship

                                                                    Kinship

   For this assignment I chose to interview my Aunt Virginia. This interview was conducted on a Wednesday afternoon. I had a list of questions to ask her. As an anthropologist I felt it my responsibility to guide her, yet as her niece I tried not to agree or disagree with any of the answers. I felt that she was excited to tell her story. I felt very comfortable throughout the interview. Only a few times did I feel awkward. I felt this way in particular when she discussed a hidden family secret. The thoroughness of my interview was not affected in any way. Even the awkward moments were followed by laughter. I believe that if this was someone unrelated to me, I probably wouldn’t feel awkward about anything they said. However I also believe the fact that the interviewee was my aunt, I was more daring and bold in my questions and quest for answers.

 Aunt Virginia is my mother’s oldest sister. She was born in Tehran, Iran.  She is of Armenian descent and speaks the Armenian language. Her family practiced traditional Armenian customs. She was raised in a home with both her parents and four other siblings. She is now sixty three years old and resides in Northridge, California. Her mother (my grandmother) came from a very wealthy family, yet her father (my grandfather) came from an extremely poor family. However her father was able to get an education at Oxford University and was making a great living. Only her father worked, her mother was a stay-at-home mom. They are of the Christian faith. In particular they are Eastern Orthodox. During her youth her family belonged to an elite social class. When speaking to my aunt I was surprised to learn how little she knew of her father’s side of the family. She knew only her grandmother, since her father had no siblings. She had very vivid stories to tell about her grandmother, in particular that her grandmother was once the oldest living person in the village in which they lived. She was 104 years old. My grandfather was a child of the Armenian genocide, yet he rarely spoke about it. My aunt said she can see the pain in his eyes when he did tell a few stories. This is really all the family she could describe on her father’s side. However when it came to my grandmother she knew every uncle, aunt, second cousin, and third cousin alive or dead. She knew just where they were born, where they lived, how much money they made, and in some cases when they died. She said all first and second cousins were very close, and she felt as if they were her siblings and not just cousins. She explained that my grandfather ran an oil company back in Iran, so he worked long hours. For this reason, my grandmother always had people visiting, and they were always her relatives. She explained that during the Islamic revolution my grandparents sent my oldest uncle to America to establish a business. Shortly after that all the other siblings came to the United States, including my mom (with my father). She wanted it to be clearly understood that family comes first. Although her husband was very successful back home, she would rather be poor and have her family around her. This was her support system and the people she relied on for money and child care. When I asked my aunt who were the people in the family she depended on, she answered “My kids, my sibling, and their kids”.

 My aunt Virginia says she has carried a lot of her tradition into her life today. She is married now for over forty years, and has two children and six grandchildren. As in typical Armenian households, her kids live fairly close by. I see that the family has been able to maintain the closeness between the siblings. They are just as close knit as ever. I recall my aunt saying to my mom just a short while ago “In the end, we are all each other have”. Although throughout the years I have seen changes in social levelsthis has not altered or affeceted relationships at all. When one family member is doing well, they seem to provide for everybody else. The common beliefs be it religious, moral standards, ethics, and in terms of life in general has remained the same throughout the years. There seems to be an equal importance placed on maternal and paternal lines. The mothers and women are much respected. In fact it’s the women that tend to run the households. However the fathers are respected for their hard work and dedication to family. There is a great respect for the elderly, and in particular the oldest living adult. We were taught at young ages to adhere and serve the elders. The younger kids were always admired and well taken care of by all family members. For example I have all authoritative rights when it comes to my nieces and nephews. They are taught to respect adults. The family sizes have definitely been cut down. Small families (of 4-5 people) seem to be the trend. The ethnic backgrounds are the same for all of my family; however I find that those cousins that are recently come to America do have a little different belief system than we do. This is naturally done to our assimilation into the American culture.

Through this experiment I have learned just how similar my beliefs and morals are to my aunt. It seems the traditions have been successfully passed down through the generations. I think it’s ironic that like my aunt, I feel a much more closeness to my mother’s side of the family. Although I know most of my father’s relatives, I’m not particularly close with any of them. However I know every cousin on my mom’s side very well. Sometimes I know a little too much about them. I definitely socialize with my mother’s side of the family a lot more. In recent years I have tried incorporating my father’s side of the family in regards to holidays. It just doesn’t have the same atmosphere. I am at ease when it comes to my mom’s side of the family. There is genuine love and admiration within cousins.

When it comes to decision making within the household both my parents value each others opinions. In terms of the larger family unit, we really rely on my oldest aunt and particularly my oldest uncle to be the decision maker. He is a very kind and honest man. He loves all the kids (even his sibling children) as if they were his own. He makes decision for the better of the whole family, and not just for his self. Family members for us include those that are married into the family as well as those born into the family. I have to say (not that I agree), it is a lot easier for the elders in the family to accept a spouse has the same cultural and religious background. Being that my grandfather lost his father to the genocide, my family places a large importance on marrying within the culture and maintaining all traditions and customs. However, we love anybody regardless. The males and females are really not treated differently. The only difference is that the boys feel it’s their job to massacre any boyfriend the girls bring around. Yet they expect the girls to be kind to their significant others.

his exercise has really given me a great appreciation and understanding of my family. The ties between the siblings on my mom’s side of the family are amazing. I realize this is why my brother and I are very close. I realized that being his older sister, I was taught to always look out for him. Yet as the male figure, he was taught to protect me as well. I learned how much culture, ethics and religion have influenced my large family. I also learned just how important my family is to me.